Caregiver Resources

Balancing Work and Caregiving

An article from the AARP website

You have a stressful deadline at work, and your father has awakened you every night this week. The home nurse doesn't come on time, and your supervisor asks why you were late to work - again.

Between taking your mother to doctor's visits and responding to crises, you've missed a lot of work. You feel you're letting your coworkers down.

Your parent needs full-time care, but you can't afford to quit your job or take time off.

What You Should Know

Of the more than 22 million Americans who are caregivers for their parents or older relatives and friends, most are working full or part time. Adult children caring for older parents face problems like those above every day. Work is a financial necessity and/or a source of satisfaction for many, yet the responsibilities of caregiving and doing well on the job often conflict. People who want to do both well can be caught in the middle.

The following tips present an overview of the issues for employees and employers. This fact sheet also offers ideas and resources that can help you manage your responsibilities efficiently and balance both your roles more effectively.

Coping with Double Demands

Each working caregiver's job is different. Even within the same company, different managers may be more or less supportive of your situation. If you are uncomfortable raising this issue with your supervisor, look in the personnel manual or other human resources publication to find out your company's policy on caregivers. Does it offer benefits or services that could help with your situation?
Ask your employer if there is an employee assistance program.
Ask your human resources or personnel department to give you information on the Family and Medical Leave Act. Have a copy sent to your supervisor as well, if appropriate. This law entitles eligible workers a maximum of 12 weeks a year of unpaid leave for family caregiving without loss of job security or health benefits. There are a variety of restrictions, however, such as company size and the amount of time the worker has been employed.
Take advantage of flex-time policies. Consider asking for a flexible schedule if a formal policy is not in place.
Offer to work a less desirable shift or be willing to make up time taken for caregiving by working days or shifts when most people want to be off. This flexibility on your part shows your employer that you are committed to the company and your job.
Consider job sharing or working part time if possible.
Avoid mixing work with caregiving. If you need to make phone calls or search the Internet for information related to your parent's needs, do it on a lunch break.
Manage your time well. When you must take time off for caregiving, set priorities and accomplish the most important things first. Delegate responsibilities when you can. Pace yourself; don't do so much in one area that you can't be effective in another.
Get all the support you can from family members, friends and community resources.
Take care of your own needs. Pay attention to your health; get enough sleep and exercise regularly. Fun is also important. Take a break when the pressure gets too great. Talk with someone about your feelings and needs. This could be a professional counselor, a member of the clergy, or an employee assistance counselor.
Talk with your work supervisor about your caregiving issues. It's better to know the reasons for your late arrivals or seeming preoccupation rather than to draw his or her own conclusions.
Be sure to thank those at work for the consideration and assistance you receive. Perhaps you can agree to take on an extra assignment or special project when you do have time, or to help another who may have heavy family or other responsibilities.

For More Information

AARP Publications
There are resources available to help. The publications listed below are available free from AARP. To order an AARP publication send an email to member@aarp.org with your name, your full postal mailing address, and the title of the publication.

Family Conversations That Help Parents Stay Independent (D17002)

Eldercare Locator
The Eldercare Locator Web site has information on how to locate the nearest area agency on aging and a wide variety of community services to support older adults. Toll free: 1-800-677-1116.

Family Caregiver Alliance
The Family Caregiver Alliance has information helpful to caregivers. Their Web site has a resource center that offers practical information to help with care, planning, stress relief, and locating and using community resources.